So, I've been a mother for over 12 years now and I know that may not seem like a long time but I have learned a few things that may bring you some relief. Here goes...
- You might be a better mom or feel more comfortable with parenting when your child is at different ages. For example, for me, I felt like an idiot for the first two years of my son's life. I second guessed myself all the time and did not feel comfortable with the whole baby stage. However, when my son turned 7 or 8 years old, I fell into a groove where I just had it going on. I knew how to explain things and how to get ideas across without boring him. I knew what movies and books and ideas to throw at him to help him develop into a wonderful person. So, the lesson here is to let go of however you feel about yourself as a parent at this particular stage and know that there will probably be a stage coming up where you'll feel more comfortable being Mom. Now breathe that sigh of relief.
- Your kid goes through stages. Whatever annoying, loud habit your child has or if temper tantrums on the floor in the middle of the store are all the rage right now for your child, let it go. This is a stage he or she will pass out of soon, I promise. I've been there and done that. It's a stage and they will move through it. I can't guarantee that there won't be something else in the new stage that annoys you but know that the current one will pass.
- Forgive yourself--every day. Whatever you have or haven't done, let it go. Explain to your child when he or she is old enough that you are doing your best and that's all you can do. Try to live in the present moment and don't fret over the yelling episode from this morning when you were trying to get your kid off to school. Let it go. Forgive yourself and say "I'm sorry" when you need to.
- Your child chose you for his or her mom in this lifetime. It is my belief that we choose our families before we reincarnate each lifetime. We choose our parents. Find the reason you chose yours. (This work may take a lifetime or some deep inner work but it's so worth it.) Realize that there is some reason your child chose you. It may not be obvious for a long time but that's OK. Do your best to be the best parent you can be and know that it will be just what this child needs. It's all OK--just do your best.
- Becoming a parent brings up all sorts of things about our own childhood and that is as it should be. You may recognize things coming out of your mouth that sound like your own mom or dad. You may not want those same things to come out of your mouth so change it up. Choose a different path as a Mom. Choose to break the cycle of how your parents parented you. Make a conscious effort to not make the same mistakes your parents did when they raised you. It all might be part of a perfect plan to make you a better parent.